A few days ago I went for a run/walk. Shall we say a walun or a rulk? It was the first time since I got my enormous blister. It was so nice!
It was so refreshing partly because I compared it to the times I am out and about in survival mode. Granted I had a little fellow with me in the jogging stroller but after a few short minutes he was asleep, but I didn't feel the pressures that would normally accompany me as I go places.
But there are times that I can think of where I felt like I was barely hanging onto any thread of civility and normallacy that I could possibly have. Like when people can hear me three blocks away (quite a feat in Brooklyn) shouting at the top of my lungs, "S and R STOP! YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR--WAIT FOR ME!" Perhaps you may rushedly hear me say, "Come on, hurry! We've go to get . . ." when a dear one dawdles behind in quiet revelry of the glories of the outside or pouting sulkily because of my perceived short-sitedness.
My feelings of utter-exhaustion passed at least ten minutes before any situation like the one I listed above, now worn down to a bitter if-we-stay-out-a-moment-longer-I-will-probably-fall asleep-on-the-cement tone of voice and composure (okay that might be an overstatement, but you get the point, right?). Patience is a virtue--one which requires a desperate amount of concentrated determination and endurance.
Compared to the walrun (walk/run) where I talked softly to one child rocked to sleep by the breaks in the cement, my ability to look in one direction at a time (instead of three), my attentiveness to the details I saw--like neat designs on buildings, flowers and such. I could take a moment to breathe and think about the details of my life. I could see the Statue of Liberty, boats floating down the river, Staten Island, the Verrazano Bridge and a multitude of other glories around this area. Things seems so much simpler and easier when one can step back and cumulatively contemplate life in every light.
I came home rejuvenated and thankful, striving to to stave off the survival mode and more fully enjoy the kid mode.
Sometimes we need a pause of silence to help us fully appreciate the music of life.
5 comments:
Well said. You deserve the best. We often have to yell at the top of our lungs to get our kids to listen, too. It's normal. :)
Mel--what a tremendous writer you are. This could be published! I'm so glad to have the privilege to read about you and your family's adventures. And I know exactly what you mean. Those late night runs alone to the store (or wherever!) are my favorite. I have to say, I love it when it's totally silent in the car.
So true! Being outside helps me to put things into perspective and enjoy life a little more. Thanks for sharing!
Seriously, you are my hero. 3 kids in Brooklyn? Not for the faint of heart. One day I will reach a "Melanie-state" of multitaskiness. I'm glad you were able to have some quiet moments to just enjoy life!
This made me wish I could sit next to you at a playgroup at the park and talk it up about the trials and joys of mothering. I love your writing, this blog is such a gift to your children. I feel lucky to get to read it too. Much love from AZ, Rachel and Sophia
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