Monday, January 10, 2011

Road Work

They are doing road work outside my house. It seems to take forever and while I am doing my dishes I hear the glasses klinking against each other.  The room feels like it is having a miniature earth quake and the noise, noise, noise.

But in my head, I imagine they are not working on the road at all, they are not fixing broken pipes or diverting traffic for some small hinderance to Brooklyn-kind.

In my head I image the workmen digging, digging, digging looking for the lost diamonds of Mobster Tony the Fig---Yes, haven't you heard of him?  He was this huge mobster and when the people didn't pay up he would force them to eat figs--a whole cart load.  Then when they couldn't handle the figs he would switch to fruitcake.  Oh, those poooor people.

Well, it is widely speculated that he got better results than any other mobster in the area and he happened to own this one building (mine) and he loved the building. As a front he put in a grocery store that claimed to be open 24 hours a day, but was really only open 18 hours a day.  In the underground part he put in a huge safe--it was disguised as a refrigerator hiding the cursed diamonds, so as not to draw unwarranted attention.  But in reality it was the most sophisticated safe known to man at the time. 

Until recently no one knew about the safe, but it was found quite by chance when they were digging to check on some random pipe.  Imagine workman number 5 digging and clank. Oops, a refrigerator. Maybe there is something for his taste buds. But no?!  A lock requiring a combination?!

He doesn't say anything except "I call dibbs on the refrigerator down here."

His friends, "What?! Sure why do they have a fridge down there anyway?"

Well, sadly workmen 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 surreptitiously came down with a case of "stomach flu" and couldn't come to work the next day so Workman no. 5 called some of his "trusted" good buddies to lift the fridge out of the ground. . .it takes a lot longer than they think because under the fridge is a set of dinosaur bones, of a dinosaur no one knew existed, the New York Yankeesaurus (they agreed on the name together).  It's as tall as a roller coaster and it has plates on the back that look like the cars on the roller coaster, of course.  They'll make a fortune.

But, oh that Tony the Fig, he was hiding A LOT more than a fridge and a dinosaur.

Under the dinosaur they find a . . .

Okay, so I am curious why it takes road workers so long.  My imagination has a way of running wild when it takes a moment to ask questions.


Whitney said...

I bet your kids love the stories you tell!

Joe and Kristin Family said...

They did road work outside our house about 2 yrs ago. It was terrible. Felt like it lasted forever.