Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A Conversation With My Mom

I took this photo and added the words. The artwork  is from the  Museum of the Native American in NYC. :)


Not everyone has access to their mother.  I know I'm really, super blessed that I can call her and that we have a sweet relationship.  I call my mom when I feel down, but before I call her for solace I try to pre-figure out what she is going to tell me so that I can tell her that I've already done it.  This may be for my children in the future, so I don't forget. It means the world to me that my mother takes the time to listen and to really understand what I am saying.  I want my children to always feel they can call me to talk, just like I feel about my mother.

She usually listens to me tell her what is wrong, as long as it takes--which is usually 10-20 minutes; more if I need it.  If you don't have access to a relationship like this, I suggest writing it all out in a journal, every detail, then if you feel like the drama of the day is over and you don't want your family to read all your seethings and dread then take it out, get it wet and twist and rip it to shreds--but not until you feel like you're capable of handling it on your own--and don't leave it in the open--hide it. 

Go through this list and breathe deeply. You can do this!!! You're a child of God and He loves you!  You may feel very alone, but you are not!  Be patient with yourself. God doesn't expect you to be perfect today!

1. Have you eaten? Do you feel hungry?  
This is huge for me.  Hungry M=Grouchy M.  I find this is true for almost every other person I have met.  When people are rude to me on the street, I sometimes think--they must be having a bad day or they're really hungry.  

2. Did you get ready and turn on peppy music?
This was my parent's motto growing up. Get up, get ready and blare some great tunes because they'll get you going. The tunes I listened to were not the popular ones of the day--it was the classics from the 1940's and 1950's and musicals (I love musicals). 

3. Did you take your vitamins?  Magnesium? Iron? Potassium? 
This is another biggie. Turns out the older I get the more my body craves supplements and when I'm very dedicated to taking them--I don't get sick. Yay!  The problem is consistency. . . it's a work in progress and I usually take them right before I call my mom.

4. Did you exercise?
When I work out I feel happier and more focused.  Also, I feel more attractive.

5. Have you eaten anything that does not agree with you?
Junk food is starting to have a negative affect when I eat it. It makes me all moody and . . . it's not pretty.  

6. Is it close to that time of the month? (Sorry mom, I know we don't like talking about this in public, but this is for my posterity and I can't forget it.)  Or, are you pregnant? (I am not pregnant. . . just for the record).
When it is that time of the month I let my husband know in advance so he won't be as offended when I start grouchily berating things and people and . . . everything.   I get headaches and my patience level is severely stymied when mother nature pays her monthly punch in the gut. 

6. What can you do about your problem?
My mother is a really good listener.  When I talk to her I know she is paying attention and that means the world to me.  She asks a question like this and I try to tell her what I think I could do--which almost always begins with "Well, I could come and see you.  Can I come now?"  Even now at 25 (not my real age) she still takes me on her lap when I'm there and says, "It's all going to be okay." I don't care if it looks silly to some, it is her way of letting me know I'm still her little girl.

7. Sometimes people just say what they need to say to get it out of their system.  They're not mad at you, most likely, they are probably mad about something else and accidentally spilling some of their upsettedness on you.  

If it is something someone said that has me in tears, she goes through possible examples, because she believes the best in people and wants me to as well. 

8. I love you profusely!!! I am so glad you are my daughter.

My mother always says this to me, and it gives me great comfort.  That's what I want my children to know all the time!!!

If you have done all these things some other things my mother and my husband suggests are to (as my sweetheart reminds me) "sharpen the saw." A dull saw can't work but a saw that is sharpened can so much faster and more efficiently.

A. Take a nice hot shower/bath and relax with a good book or movie--let the cartoons watch the kidlets for a few minutes.
B.  Call a friend to go do something.
C.  Get out of the house, you may have cabin fever.
D.  Go do yoga (seriously, this helps a lot) or Zumba--the dancing and the tunes blare the worries away-ish.

What helps you feel happy when you feel blue?  What does your mother or friend suggest?


Marci said...

What a great list! I think I'm going to print it out and put it on my wall so I can go through it when I'm feeling down or grouchy. Thanks for sharing!

Mindy said...

Oh Mel! I don't know if you got my gmail chat reply but mom and I were completely in tears from laughing so hard yesterday at that website of mom sayings. I loved what you shared so thank you!! You inspired me to do a new post. LOVE YOU SO MUCH and hope to be able to see more of you some day :)